As someone who practices yoga, you probably know by now that the main goal of the practice it to make the mind still. I’m sure you’ve experienced by now just how difficult that is. Even for someone like me who has practiced for many years now, my mind frequently experiences states of fidgetiness, jumping from one impulse to another. Even the renowned and respected Buddhist meditation teacher, Pema Chödrön, says her mind can be jumpy at times. The difference, though, between now and when she first started practicing mediation, she says, is that she doesn’t let it bother her much anymore. I find that comforting.
The connection? All these wonders came into being through the power of patience practiced by man and nature alike.
Yoga and the Power of Good Boundaries
/The East River creates a good boundary between Brooklyn and Manhattan so they can be good neighbors. The Manhattan Bridge glistens at sunset at the end of a beautiful March day in NYC keeping the two neighboring boroughs connected.
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One of the benefits of practicing yoga and meditation is that we can step back, zoom out, and see the larger picture. Often when we're caught up in the immediacy of any given moment, we can potentially become highjacked by our emotions and not act in our or anyone else's best interest. But by being able to view our situations from the "30,000 foot" level, or maybe even from just the "30 foot" level, we can make wiser decisions on how to act. As the song goes: "God is watching us ... from a distance." Perhaps there is something beneficial to be had in seeing things "from a distance."
In order to benefit from viewing life from a distance, I think it's important that we create good boundaries in our life. Not having good boundaries allows for the possibility of folks walking all over us. And with that can also arise personal feelings of helplessness and failure, both of which can be self-defeating.
Someone named Clare wrote these words:
Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.
I like that. In the heat of the moment, when we are attacked, it is easy to see the other person as "the other." But when we can zoom out and see why the person acted the way they did, we may also have the grace to see the seeds of those feelings and reactions could even lie dormant within us too. Then it becomes easier to forgive. I'm not necessarily saying that we need to justify their behavior but rather only that from a distance it might be easier to see why they may have acted that way. But in order to be able to have this perspective, we need to set some good boundaries.
Renowned Buddhist Meditation Teacher, Pema Chödrön, who I consider to be very wise, had this to say about setting boundaries:
Compassion doesn’t imply only trying to be good. When we find ourselves in an aggressive relationship, we need to set clear boundaries. The kindest thing we can do for everyone concerned is to know when to say “enough.” Many people use Buddhist ideals to justify self-debasement. In the name of not shutting our heart, we let people walk all over us. It is said that in order not to break our vow of compassion we have to learn when to stop aggression and draw the line. There are times when the only way to bring down the barriers is to set boundaries.
It seems almost ironic that she's suggesting that in order to bring down the barriers we need to create some. Yet, I see the wisdom of that. If we can have the grace to be able to step back a bit when we are attacked then we may be able to not take the other person's actions quite so personally. But yes, that does take a good amount of grace. And for that to happen, we need to have some good boundaries in place first. And that is where yoga and meditation can be beneficial. Both practices are, in a way, "boundary setting." They can help us to hold the "gray areas" of our life with just a little more capacity and less judgement, see things a bit more "from a distance" and then lead us to taking wiser actions. As the Yogi and accomplished Teacher Sadhguru said:
In maintaining distance from your thought and emotion, you can become available to the grace of the greatest beings.
Personally, I long for having that quality of grace as I know I can easily become high-jacked by my emotional reactions to difficult situations. Perhaps there is something to be said about Mr. Spock's ability to tame his emotions. While it may seem on one hand to be not-so-human to not be emotional, perhaps on the other hand we could be even more human if we could somehow process those emotions in ways that can have beneficial outcomes. Again, as I alluded to earlier, yoga and meditation are practices that can help us by turning those emotions into useful fertilizer to seed good and helpful responses to all situations in our life.
Someone named Jennifer, a.k.a. The Comfort Queens, said:
Good boundaries make it easy to be a good caregiver, friend, and lover.
I agree. If we don't have good boundaries, it does, as Pema said, become easier for people to walk all over us. But the power of good boundaries lies in the perspective we can gain by being able to separate ourselves far enough away from other people's hurtful and unwise actions to be able to see their basic goodness along with our own.
By separating we in a way become less separate. Seeing things “From a Distance” leads us to seeing, as the song says, that "We are instruments ... Marching in a common band."
On a global perspective, with the war raging in Gaza, it would behoove us to see this particular situation from a distance with a wider lens. As Jonathan Capehart said recently on the PBS NewsHour, "zoom out" and see the larger picture. Yes, there is absolute madness going on and both sides share in the blame but the solutions that will lead to lasting peace can only be gained by seeing things from a distance. The only way to a lasting peace in the region may lie in creating good boundaries so that both sides can be good neighbors to and for each other. The power of good boundaries will lie with both sides being able to feel safe and secure within their own boundaries first.
On a personal level, the power of our good boundaries lies in them helping us increase our own self-esteem and sense of worth.
I hope your ongoing yoga and meditation practices can help you create good boundaries so that you are not highjacked by both the forces within you and those immediately outside of you. I hope they can help you create peace and harmony in both your smaller world and the larger one as well.
May you be happy, …
May you be healthy, …
May you be able to see things from a distance, …
May the power of your good boundaries benefit people nearest to you and ultimately spread out to All Beings Everywhere.
Aloha and Metta,
Paul Keoni Chun
These clouds at sunset are being reflected by the glass windows of the building across from me. Experiencing a sunset even from this reflected distance still filled me with such joy.
Yoga and the Art of Loving Yourself
/After a snowfall, the warmth of this couple's love keeps the cold at bay.
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Earlier this month, I taught a yoga and meditation workshop for the Center for Family Support, a disabilities organization here in NYC. It was part of a series of workshops entitled: Love Yourself: Mind, Body, and Spirit. It got me thinking, what does it really mean to "love yourself?"
I think that beyond the usual extra pampering we might give to ourselves, whether it be a massage, a tasty and nutritious meal, an extra hour of sleep, or any number of things, for yogis and Buddhist meditators, the concept of truly loving yourself lies further and deeper within.
I got an email from Prajna Studios at Shambhala Publications sharing a free teaching from a Buddhist monk named Phakchok Rimpoche, entitled The Power of Dignity. After listening to it once, it so grabbed my attention that I found myself wanting to listen to it several times more just so I could more fully understand the teaching. What resonated deeply with me was this part of Phakchok Rimpoche's teaching (I've edited for clarity and understanding):
When you don’t have your own dignity, you cannot give respect to others in a way that is fully beneficial to them. If you want to give other people respect; you need to find your own dignity first. Then you will have genuine respect to others. When you have no dignity, you are vulnerable to your own emotions. That’s when you make other people miserable because you are not complete. So awakening dignity is completely not selfish. It’s actually opposite of that. Finding your own dignity is actually beneficial for others, with your family members or others, whoever you meet in your life.
At the beginning of the talk, Phakchok Rimpoche shared how before he started meditating he was so nice and so compassionate towards others. But he felt he lacked a strength, decisiveness, and confidence within. But little by little, his practice led him to uncovering his basic goodness, and with it feelings of wholeness, confidence, and satisfaction.
Shambhala Publications explains the concept of dignity this way:
This concept of dignity is different from what we might assume with a Western understanding and is a core teaching of many wisdom traditions. It is a quality of dignity that is rooted in the knowledge that you are fundamentally good at your core. According to the teachings, the simple fact that you are alive means you carry a wholeness, wisdom, and perfection, and the task of meditation is to uncover this within yourself by working with the patterns of thoughts and emotions that get in the way of this self-knowledge. When you practice returning to this natural dignity again and again, it is possible to develop unwavering joy, confidence, and love for yourself while simultaneously engaging the world with genuine openness and compassion.
I remember watching The Whale and being particularly struck by what Brendan Frasier's character Charlie says at the end. I don't remember it word for word, but basically the last thought he imparts to his daughter before he dies is: Everyone is good!
The main takeaway for me is that it’s important to uncover my own basic goodness first, so that I can cultivate a fuller knowing of my basic dignity. Having done so, I can then meet the challenges that others will inevitably lay in front of me with a fuller kind of compassion and respect. But until I have sufficient confidence in my own basic goodness, I can’t be authentically compassionate and caring towards others. Loving yourself is doing whatever it takes to uncover your basic goodness, even if the quest may appear selfish to others.
This aligns with another teaching of the Buddha, which has always resonated with me: Light your own lamp and the lives of others will be illuminated effortlessly. In other words, before I do the work of helping others, I have to do the important work of transforming my own self first. Otherwise, my work in support of others won’t be as authentic as it could be.
So the Art of Loving Yourself for me means doing the day by day work of seeing the good that is already within me, the seed goodness that has always been a part of me. I don't have to go searching for it outside of myself nor seek external validation of its existence. There's enough drama in the world. I just strive not to add to it in unhelpful ways.
I hope your ongoing yoga and meditation practices can help you uncover your basic goodness, your dignity. And I hope the realizations can give you confidence and satisfaction as you navigate the outer world.
May you be happy, …
May you be healthy, …
May you know your basic goodness, your seed dignity, …
May you Love Yourself in ways that ultimately will benefit all Beings everywhere, including those that exist in Nature.
Aloha and Metta,
Paul Keoni Chun
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While walking near the World Trade Center this past weekend, this mural caught my attention:
I'm sure the wisest yogis amongst us would agree with its message!
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These migratory birds paid us a visit this week at our home in Florida. Nature has me falling in love with it over and over again!
Yoga and the Art of Letting Go
/The view from my window during breakfast this month. Both ordinary, and extraordinary.
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January as we all know is a time for new beginnings. And according to this NY Times article, it's becoming a favorite month for some. I can see the wisdom in that.
For me, I like to review my goals, dreams and wishes from the prior year, and set forth new ones for the new year. It is a time to evaluate what is working and what can and needs to be let go of.
I was inspired by this quote by the Thai Buddhist Monk, Ajahn Chah:
“Do everything with a mind that lets go . . . If you let go a little, you will have a little peace. If you let go a lot, you will have a lot of peace. If you let go completely, you will know complete peace and freedom. Your struggle with the world will have come to an end.”
Being practical, I decided to take baby steps. No need to aspire too greatly, because then it might all come crashing down quickly. Sometime earlier this month, I was listening to the radio -- NPR I believe -- and there was a segment on mindful eating that caught my attention. Essentially, the woman suggested we practice just sitting and eating. Not eating while looking at our phones, computers, TVs, or pick your favorite meal companion. So, I decided to commit to taking my meals just sitting in front of my window. The practice was both simple and at times difficult, as my mind would yearn to multi-task! But persist I did.
Here are three things I observed:
What is in front of me is what is in front of me, and it is enough. We've had a lot of grey overcast days here in NYC in January. And while my mind was yearning for more sunshine, it eventually settled into being OK with things as they are, not as I wish them to be. Very yogic, for sure.
Letting go of my habit of needing to be entertained by other distractions such as TV or my phone led my mind to being quieter. Oh, for sure, there were thoughts going on in my head, but it was easier to see them come and pass. As you may know, quieting the movements of the mind is one of the first goals stated in the Yoga Sutras. Sutra 1.2 reads: yogash chitta vritti nirodhah or "yoga is the cessation of the movements of the mind."
Being mindful of my actions led to more beneficial moments of awareness – like when my body was telling me I am full and can stop eating.
On the topic of mindfulness, many years ago I heard an interview Krista Tippett did with Thich Nhat Hanh. Here are some bits of wisdom he shared:
Life is available only in the present. That is why we should walk [or eat, I will add!] in such a way that every step can bring us to the here and the now.
... when you are mindful, you are fully alive, you are fully present. You can get in touch with the wonders of life, that can nourish you, and heal you.
I can't say that I am an expert in mindfulness or will give myself an "A" in "letting go." But, I can say that I am just a bit better at both as a result of my eating practices this month.
And here are a few personal benefits I've noticed:
I feel noticeably less anxious about how things are going to turn out. If anything, I'm more curious. That aligns with Buddhist philosophy.
It feels easier to be in the present and I’m getting a lot done.
I've lost a few pounds.
I hope you've had a good time with your New Year Resolutions, whatever they may be. And, if you've noticed or learned along the way, I'd love to hear what they are, so feel free to write back and let me know.
At any rate, I do know that letting go of past habits can be a tricky thing. I do hope that you can experience the art of letting go by simply (or maybe not so simply) slowing down, doing one thing at a time, and noticing more of the extraordinary in the ordinary things that surround you.
May you be happy, …
May you be healthy, …
May you let go a little, …
May anything you can let go of ultimately benefit all Beings everywhere, including those that exist in Nature.
Aloha and Metta,
Paul Keoni Chun
Practicing mindfulness as I walked the streets of NYC last night led me to this extraordinary and whimsical art installation in Madison Square Park!
Yoga Lessons from Ecuador, p. 2
/The Amazon Rainforest as viewed from the Sacha Lodge Canopy Walk in Ecuador.
So many pathways to the Light
As I shared in my last yoga letter, I had a once-in-a-lifetime experience in Ecuador recently, when my husband and I visited the Galápagos Islands and the Amazon Rainforest for our 5th anniversary. In the photo above, we were standing on a bridge gazing out over the rainforest canopy when, Jarrold, our Nature Guide, shared that there are more plant species in one hectare of the land below us in this part of the Amazon than in all of North America. I found that simply amazing. Talk about diversity, equity, and inclusion - the Amazon has it in spades!
Basically, each plant and tree is just trying to reach for the light. Similarly, every human being is trying to be touched by the Light of awareness and there are many different ways of being in the path towards getting there. As a friend of mine, Mike, said to me yesterday there are many paths leading up to the top of the mountain. You just have to find the one that's right for you. For some humans, it's yoga and meditation. For others it may be Islam, Hinduism, or Jesus or any number of other spiritual practices. Or simply prayer. I thought the Amazon Rainforest was an apt metaphor for this human quest for the Light. Some folks are still in relative darkness on the forest floor, and others have figured out ways to be closer to the Light. And each of us may look different -- like the many species found in the Amazon -- but we each need to be touched by Light in order to grow to our fullest individual potential.
This epiphyte -- or plant that grows on another plant but is not parasitic -- is helped along by this tall tree it's attached itself to.
Our practice helps others
This beautiful bromeliad above is able to flourish by taking up residence on the trunk of a tree high above the ground, and thus bringing it closer to the sunlight. In nature, this is called commensalism, where one species benefits while the other one is unaffected. Similarly, as yogis and meditators, we can help others to flourish simply by giving them fertile soil from our own practice upon which to build their own. We affect others just by the peaceful light we give off as a result of our practice, and we probably won't ever really know how many others we are affecting in positive ways. In each of our own humble ways, we can move closer to our bodhisattva, spiritual warrior potential by helping others to be touched by more Light.
Pausing above the canopy in the Ecuadorian Amazon Rainforest at Sacha Lodge. With sunset -- a.k.a. the Golden Hour -- nearing, the sky's colors were spectacular.
Gratitude
I am overwhelmed with gratitude for having had this opportunity to see another part of God's grand vision expressed in a multitude of ways and possibilities. This has been a life-changing experience, one I won't soon forget. For sure, having an attitude of gratitude can keep our mind and hearts open, and is another path we can take toward moving closer to the Light.
I posted photos, videos, and commentary in a travelogue on my Facebook page, if you'd like to get a glimpse of what this part of the world looks like.
A hauʻoli makahiki hou, happy new year, to you and yours!
May you be happy, …
May you be healthy, …
May you find your own path towards the light, …
May you help others along the way, …
May your mind and heart be filled with gratitude for all that you've been given, …
May your collective practices benefit all Beings everywhere, including those that exist in Nature.
Aloha and Metta,
Paul Keoni Chun
Photo Credits:
Photos of the Amazon Rainforest by me and my husband Ed.